The Onion has a Knoxville datelined story today headlined: “Incompetent Staff Feels Underappreciated.”
KNOXVILLE, TN–Taking a break from surfing the web, going out for multiple cups of coffee, and missing important work deadlines, employees at Winthrop Media complained once again Monday about being taken for granted.
“I come in almost every day, bust my hump for like four or five hours, and what do I get? Nothing,” said Tom Bertram, one of several chronic underachievers employed by the Knoxville advertising firm. “You’d think management could show us a little appreciation now and again. It’s not like I particularly enjoy just sitting around here all day.”
Bertram then returned to his computer’s web browser, logged out of Facebook, and hurriedly responded to 14 work e-mails that had accumulated in his in-box.
According to sources, the 36-year-old isn’t the only incompetent employee on staff who feels undervalued. Joseph Garten, a production designer, notorious procrastinator, and all-around liability, said that he wished he got more respect around the office.